Grateful

I have been peeking back at the past more than I am supposed to these days. It is something I cannot control, as these thoughts are brought by my subconscious. What am I so hung up on? What am I holding on to?

A possibility of things going my way.

Being in the now, I realise that there are things I could have done differently. Feelings I could have avoided. People I could have brushed off.

But then, we are the sum of our experiences – be it good or bad. Else, how are we supposed to be better than we were yesterday? Every wrong turn we made, every hand we held, every heartbreak has brought us to where we are now, and we can only be grateful for that.

Talk soon

What have I become?

Image

It is almost the end of 2013 and I haven’t even finished reading a book I started reading almost a year ago. Do not get me wrong – it is not that I do not enjoy reading it, it is just that the thickness of the book itself appalls me. That, and there are other things that spark my interest besides reading a book about a world with two moons. Spoiler alert, sorry.

I have started watching House MD a few weeks ago and am already on its fifth season. I am hooked. I am emotionally invested in this show. I need a life beyond the time I spend at work, reading and pointing out little errors. That may be another reason for my lack of reading. Because I already read stuff as a day job. Or I’m just lazy……..

……….

Yes. I am.

On a much different note, I cannot wait to be on holiday again.

I wanna be where the people are.

I wanna be where the people are.

I wanna see, wanna see ’em dancing.

How high are we?

ImageThe best part of travelling is leaning your head by the window seat that you got but did not ask for, looking down as you take off. At times, I feel scared that something bad might happen to the plane that I am in, but most of the time, I like to watch as we get higher and fly over the ocean – trying to find the line on the horizon that separates the sky and the sea. I don’t know if it’s just me, but it takes me a while to find that line, and sometimes I never do. I usually take that as a sign of defeat and go back to reality, take that time to read and eventually (always) fall asleep right after.

My heart longs to be in an unfamiliar place again.

Gpoy

I am so sorry to have abandoned you like this for way too long. It is just that I have been busy, trying to sort my life out. And guess what, it still is not sorted. Well, I have been doing my best. No judging!

—————————————————
Updates:

Went to Bali in July 2012. Left job in July 2012. Ended up doing nothing for 6 months. Did not go to Vietnam in August 2012, so there goes my money. Had a wonderful year anyway. Come 2013 and here I am, sitting cross-legged in the “Writer’s Office”.
—————————————————

Life has been swell. I have my ups and downs. I have grown to be a really bitter and angry person, as I have observed. But all is well.

So I have been on Tumblr a lot (Sorry about that). And one of my good friends who is on Tumblr as religiously as I am (Ha!) just reblogged something and added ‘gpoy’ at the end of the post. Being the curious cat I always am, I typed in my search bar “Gpoy meaning” and out came this page which explains so much now. All my life I thought ‘gpoy’ was a Tagalog word or slang. I shall now start ‘gpoy-ing’ away:

gpoy

Thanks for reading. I’ll be back soon!

22.

It was raining heavily as I sat on the staircase, watching the rain pour down. I could not even hear myself think, but as I forced it out, it rained even more. I felt everything rush through my head as though my life was flashed before my eyes. It was quarter to midnight.

Am I doing this right?

My chest feels tight every time….

I’m still alive, just in case you’re wondering.

It is actually the amount of thought you put into all the minor problems you have that triggers your mind into thinking that you are having a mid-life crisis. I am only turning 22 in two weeks. Why would I even want to have a mid-life crisis at this age?

Life has been swell, to be honest. I do not have much buggery to think about. My time has been thoroughly occupied. Although I have thoughts of having some time to myself to read a book or clean my room, which is at the bottom of my priority list, by the way. Earlier this year, I aimed to read 30 books in 2012 but now that I look at it, I do not think I can do it. I can try, though!

Just recently, I ran a 10k race for the annual SCB run, which I managed to finish! It was my first time to run that distance and actually made it without the need to faint or vom and finished at a net time of 01:25:44. Not bad for my first time!

Besides that, I have gone completely lesbian over Ms Jennifer Lawrence. I would hate to bore you with details, but she is so funny! Pretty AND funny. How can you not love her? And she has good taste in music, I feel like I want to meet her in person. Sad times. Not gonna happen. (Or is it?)

Blah blah, just rambling to kill time at work. My boss just recommended me to read Maggie Stiefvater! I just love my boss so much 🙂